Monday, July 28, 2014

Death:the final calling

Everywhere I look, there are lives cut short, lives lived in pain ended, lives well-lived taken. 

After hanging on to live each day with a fight, cancer had its way. Tita Rosalie was freed from the aches and sorrows of the world. Thank you for the big smile you always greeted me with, for looking after me and cooking my favorites whenever i stay over for the summer 2 decades or do ago, at that time of my parents' loss, you were there.

I have said goodbye to two friends whom i shared the dancefloor with, their funerals might as well be the quietest party ive ever been to. I couldn't take a step to see Laica lifeless and forever still through the looking glass, i wouldn't have dared to look at Micah had we known of his passing before it was all over Facebook. They'll be alive in my memory, and in the darkness that shroud the smoky room and laser beams cutting through the dark, i'll find them dancing to the beat of the underground. 

The family lost one matriarch, she lived her life well with the love that anyone can only dream of. She sufferred a great loss and suddenly she's gone away with him, in His time. I didnt know her too well, but im grateful that after so many years of feeling alienated from that side of the clan, she pulled us in and filled an inexplicable void. Going up for weekends with you to Laguna, Batangas and Baguio is a memory i'll take with me always, tita Sylvia.

And just a level down from the chapel where she lay, lies Kenneth, beloved stepson to my brother, he was 19 when the bells of heaven rang. I remember him walking around clutching Blues clues and Winnie the Pooh at age 5, now he's gone.

Elsewhere, news of an old friend's passing came up. All i could dial up in my head was the many long beer sessions back home; jokes, duty stories, throwing up, passing out and hearing the whole screenplay of Casper that he had memorized out of his love for Christina Ricci. Kampai Vince!

For weeks, my facebook timeline was filled status updates of getting better, going stronger, hopeful recovery, hospital discharge; light has come through, Gebee is home. Tonight, he followed the light, reached his hands out to heaven and joined his creator. Afternoon playtime was never complete without coming to see the cutest toddler in the hood, now he's 23 and forever will be. 

They've seen better days, bid goodbye to sorrow and the mundane troubles of the world. And if life means enduring the pain, maybe this earth is not a place to hold on to, letting go can be painful as it is easy. Tears will shed and acceptance will be hard, but, death cannot be denied. She will come when the time is right and open the door to lead us to escape our misery. If death is beautiful and free, why must we refuse it. 




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